What really is the benefit of going to therapy?

Written by Christel Roets, Clinical Psychologist

Many people I have met have told me that they have been thinking about going to therapy for quite some time, but got stuck at the point of wondering what benefit it will really have. 

So I will say things to a stranger out loud that I have known my whole life.

It won't change anything about what has happenned in the past.

I will still struggle with the same things.

Only difference, I will now have paid someone to do it.

So let me share my thoughts on this with you as a psychologist. And to be fair, we all know that I believe in therapy and that it is beneficial, so I am biased.

The first thing that is beneficial about going to therapy is the fact that you are actually going! By taking that first step, you are acknowledging to yourself (and maybe others if they are involved), that you are not feeling okay on some level and have made the decision to seek help and find ways to manage better.

This step is really profound. And it might seem small, but I promise you, it is much bigger and significant than you can imagine. We all have that older person that we know, who is now 70 years and have always refused to admit that they need help, and are now just miserable. You are already not that person.

Second thing that is really beneficial about therapy is that you get to structure your overthinking. Now hear me out.

Many people land up in therapy because they are just in this constant spiral of anxiety, what-ifs, should'ves and could'ves. Your brain feels like a mess. Therapy helps you to untangle the mess and sort it into more maneagable piles of smaller messes. It gives structure to the chaos that is our thoughts and emotions. You may ask yourself if this is not something a friend can do? No Susan, your friend can't, no matter how much she loves you. Neither can your husband. Because they will get caught up in that nice big pile of chaos with you, because they also know the people you talk about, have experiences that might distract you from your mess and now you are actually talking about their mess, or will feel the urge to problem solve for you. And that problem solving is not actually helpful, because then you are just likely to find yourself in a similar mess a few weeks or months down the line, because you lack the understanding you actually needed from yourself.

The third helpfull thing about therapy is that you can learn so much more that just coping skills. In fact, the coping skills are often things you can also find on Google yourself.

Therapy provides a space where you can practice things that might be really tough for you to do in your everyday life. Things that you would not even think about, such as:

Crying.

Saying what you need.

Accepting help.

Listening.

Hearing how someone observes you.

Someone having a different opinion from you without feeling criticized.

Having someone think things through with you.

Containing yourself.

Not having to defend.

Being vulnerable.

You practice these things in therapy, which then becomes easier for you to do in your life. Many times clients end up talking more and sharing more of their needs and feeligns with their partners, once they have been able to do so in therapy. They learn to accept help and support from others more openly. They can admit to their own faults without feeling so defensive. They learn to listen as well.

With all of that being said, going to therapy is not something that you shold feel obligated to do in any way. You don't owe anyone that (maybe yourself, but when you are ready). Everyone needs different things at different times. And sometimes we just do not feel ready for this journey of therapy, which is also okay.

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To read more about Christel and the services she offers, click on the link below. Read more